Can we be what we want to be?

Its funny how we assume things about ourselves. I hear people complain that - my life is not how I want it to be, I am not able to manage my resources, my husband does not understand me, my parents are too assuming, my friends sometimes are selfish etc etc.... but my question is are we always the way we want ourselves to be like?

After thinking for a considerably good time, I made a decision for and about myself -

I will live exactly the way I always wanted to.

No self made complications - I feel its easy to keep ourselves happy and before I prove it to the world I want to test drive this one. Lets see.....

My life is about to change once and for all on Dec 29th. So my test drive is till Dec 29th- If I can keep myself happy and at peace in this route (I am confident this is going to work) I will adapt the same path for my life and advocate it.

For if you are happy and have a control over what can effect you then its easier to provide and secure happiness for family and friends.

Life is beautiful and Beauty lies in the beholders eyes.
Everybody can be happy for their happiness is in their psyche - Sowmya. (On scientific inquiry right now) :-)

My thoughts after reading "Experience and Education" John Dewey.

This small book – John Dewey Experience and Education triggered a thought process that is leading me to a complex bundle of questions associated with all the discussion and reading so far.

Circumstances compel us to compromise!! Yes sure they do then why are we all the time addressing what has to be done and not how it should be done. Because I see that it is “getting there” that is an issue not the “where to get” part. Progressive education has become integral part of the system of education. We no longer have a choice to stick to traditional methods. We should either transform completely or mix methods in a way that it addresses both traditional and innovative new reforms adequately. Thinking on the lines of Generation X, is necessary for educating them. This generation, typically are digital natives and they can hardly imagine themselves without technology! In such a scenario if they are compelled to go to a classroom without laptops or phones, most of them would not be interested to even attend such a class. So the fair compromise that I can think of is using laptops and engaging students productively in the instruction by the usage of their laptops. Is it possible for curriculum to integrate technology and make learning appealing assuming the compromise of distraction associated with the use of technology? If so how can we achieve this?

Emphasis on the freedom of the learner – is another idea that can alter the status quo of education. Which level of learners are we talking about here, with age the dynamic of understanding, social interactions and effect of external influences keep altering and thus, the effective use of freedom too differs. Progressive learning can be successfully established only if learning is not restricted to schools. In reality learning is a continuous process which has very delicate or no boundaries. It takes place at all locations, through every interaction and through every sense organ. Consciously and subconsciously we are always presented with new information that processes and associates itself with existing knowledge there by making learning a continuous and progressive act. Irrespective of the teachers control on what is being taught, the learner always has associated knowledge flow. Environmental or external conditions have to co-ordinate with the learning process then learning takes place more affectively. A level of personal freedom to ask, act and react makes students comfortable to learn. So defining freedom that is to be given in a school setting is necessary.

Experience and Education, are discussed in relation with each other but my question is does formal education has the power to transform every experience into an educative experience? If it can, then a meaningful living can be easily achieved as there will not be any mis-educative experiences that will challenge the ethical base of an individual. If I am asked to picture visually how experience and education are related to a person’s life – I would imagine this person holding a rope which is made up of two twisted threads. One being education and the other experience. Holding this rope he is climbing a wall which is his life. If one of the threads in this rope is weak or cut off he can surpass that weak point but it makes those moments vulnerable for him and his life.

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny”

This quote reminds me of the purpose of education. Education according to me must help in shaping up a destiny worth living for.

And that originates from progressive, positive, proactive thoughts. So our thoughts direct our life. I remember Dr Becker once explaining the difference between educated and uneducated – He said an educated mind can take new ideas gracefully, learn and accept them but an uneducated person repels new ideas or things he/she does not know. Acknowledging new ideas requires a stable thought process that takes input constructively and that can only be achieved if curriculum is designed to do so.

            When experiences, education (formal) and individual thoughts react with each other in a funnel the outcome of this blend would result in the quality of life that person lives.

My introduction for one of the classes I am into this Fall!

I was asked to write a simple informal portfolio in order to introduce myself to distance education students on a personal level for a hybrid class. The following is what I wrote. Friends and peers insisted that I post it on my blog!! and I think its not a bad idea.

     Sowmya Challa

I am a happy, simple and frank girl born and brought-up in the mystical land of India. I am blessed to have a supportive and loving family, encouraging friends and inspiring mentors around me.

My Family –

We are a family of four - my mom, my dad and my sweet little brother. My mother works for State Bank of India as a manager and is an excellent home maker too. She manages her professional and personal lives beautifully with ease. My dad works for State Bank of Hyderabad as a manager and is practical man. He is fun loving easy person with humor and wit. He made us; both the kids believe that learning is the way of living. There is nothing called a failure, its only lessons to be learnt. My brother is in eleventh grade now and is the apple of the eye for all three of us. He is an awesome guy and is a huge cricket fan! All in all, our family motto is to learn, laugh, love and live!!!!!!

 My Career –

Well, my career has been a roller coaster ride! I love to learn and experiment as it comes. I always wanted to be a teacher when I was young as my mom started out her career as a teacher, but as I grew to be a teenager my interest was towards Indian Civil Services, but again I was moved towards engineering and finally did engineering! Bachelor of Technology was the first degree I earned. Then I came to USA to do masters. Business was always an interest for me so I did my Masters in Business Administration from Scott College of Business, Indiana State University. And then now I am into PHD. It has been getting interesting by each day and I love what I am doing. Hopefully I will be an academician in near future.I have a lot in mind that I may or may not accomplish but I will not stop trying!

Self-Actualization is my motto for life!

Personal Entropy!

They say the universe is expanding continuously and its entropy is increasing with time. So is the depth of human emotions in an inward direction I think. I call it the personal entropy.

We are born as simple minds that are open to accept and learn from anything and everything around. As kids we enjoy every person and every single thing around us. I miss childhood! I am sure most of us do. As we get into adolescence we choose what we like and what we want to like. As an adult we give reason to why we like stuff or people. and even why we dislike some things/people! and hold on.... it gets even more complicated as we move further. Everything gets interlinked and relative. Oooooooo my god.... The personal entropy as I quote keeps increasing then on...
So, The Personal Entropy Quotient (PEQ) is directly proportional to age! well I am sure I will discuss more about PE and PEQ in future. 

I wish life was simple and we remain childlike all the time. But ironically that an never happen.

Why should I say NO?

My boss says, "You should learn to say NO!. Girl!!!!!" But why should I say when I can really help? Its not a voluntary offer from my side but if anyone approach me for help or with a question, I take time for them and if I can help I surely will.

Its human nature that we would not want to take help from others unless there is no other way (here we are not talking about retards and lazy people) So in that case, if someone is approaching you with an issue, listening to them is the least anybody can do. And if one can address their issue or problem, then why will or why should anybody step down? After all if we dont help each other what for are we called social animals.... Is all that not BS if we are selective in offering help....

Some others say that "what is the point in helping out when you don't get anything in return!" REALLY?? If we are expecting anything in return is that not making a deal rather than helping them? That's how my mind processes the situation. I am Business major and I know what's business, how to make profitable deals and how to negotiate offers. But humanistic ideology is totally tangential to this business perspective people!!! Look with your heart not with your mind when people come to you. Not everything in life is measurable nor it is replaceable!

Here is another catch... another very wise friend of mine says, "you should not help others risking your own life/job etc" Well, I agree partially. But honestly, it hurts me when I can do nothing or when I cant help if my friends/family need my help. Again, my intuition says helping is a matter of feeling/relating to somebody's pain or agony. If we cant relate to each others' pain then what is the point in living a meaningful life?


There may be situations where we might have to compromise one for an other or have to turn down somebody for someone more important to us. Agreed. What for is our intelligence when we cant manage our own life? - My mom keeps telling me this, whenever I have troubled time with people around me - "Noppinchaka tanovvaka tappinchuku tiruguvadu dhanyudu sumathi" - Its very challenging to keep the balance between not hurting any one and not hurting yourself.

I stand is still the same - If I can I will! Its way too complicated if I have to judge people, and as Mother Theresa once said "If we start judging people, we will not find time to love them" So... simplify life... stop judging and start loving people! Help each other and if it bounces back negative, then you always will have a feeling of satisfaction that you did something good no matter what the after effects are.

Emotions and Reason in terms of LOVE

Well, this is a very serious subject but just to add a pinch of humour, I would be satirical, sarcastic and may be witty momentarily.

I love emotions that have no reason!!!  So far I could doscover only one that can claim to be reasonless - LOVE!!!!! I love love just because you dont have to have a reason to love...

Question: Do you need a reason for love?
Why do people love what they love - lets say objects, places or even people; Most of my acquintances say they love anything and anyone that give them a reason to be happy- beauty, power, pleasure, relaxation etc but is that true? I doubt it ---Thats just a momentary bliss that might last or not but is it love that is the reason for their bliss when encountered with these or is it mere bliss because of ticlking in their senses! Am I sounding like the maverick RGV? if so let that be.

As for me - LOVE is the only feeling or to better put it in words the state of mind which has no reason and it is 99.99% accompanied by a very strong feeling in the heart to go beyond over own logic and preconceived notions. There are people who claim to be in love but do not even understand how to forgive each other... what an irony that they dont even want to let go the reason for the reason of they being in love. Some others love material stuff and would never let them go --let they be old, worn out, useless still they hold on to them! Wierd are the ways of man. I never understand how people relate to such an attachment naming it love.

Love always makes life better, for it is the reason for all possible life on this man conquered world so far. I personally think it makes everything else easy.... if it is a weakness then people... I guess it is no longer love. Love can only strengthen mind, heart and soul! So flowery isn't it? I know... magical it is for sure.

So people.... love love - love life - Life is beautiful if you can see with your heart filled with love!

Mark my words - I may be totally eccentric in wrting this piece but I believe that LOVE is the only emotion that can question and beat reason and eventually be reasonless.

Perfect Day-

To start with, everybody has problems and they appear monstrous for every single one of us. At the same time there always is someone with more severe problems than us and less problems than us. Its only our perception of how terrible our issues are that make us happy or sad. Life is a journey filled with challenges and surprises. Ups and downs are quite natural and inevitable - knowing this still if one is unhappy about someone or something in life then they really need help/

I feel the perfect day is when there is no gap between getting on the bed and sleeping; or/and opening eyes and waking up; despite all the problems around. I think and feel perfection is so easy when we can differentiate perfection from idealism. Being ideal is impossible and expectations close to idealism are irrational. But perfection is possible and should be personalized! - what I mean is if one fits in every possible thing he/she wants to do in a day in a reasonable, logical and timely way that sure is a perfect day.

In reality there are no rules, we all write our own rules and play by our own rules sometimes in consciousness and sometimes unknowingly. Determining those rules to make our seconds, minutes and days better is a wise mans job. Its easy trust me - simplifying life is the key. Confusions often lead to wrong decision and will complicate life leading to loss of peace by opening doors to unhappiness. Well, if you are in confusion - TALK. doesn't matter who you talk to - self or family or friends or even your pets. Its all about you clearing your own confusion. I have seen many people (some call them introverts/conservative people) who keep their problems and confusions to themselves and wallow in agony, pain and worry all the time. OK if you don't want to express out or give others a chance to pick on you (the reason a few of them say) but what about self talk.... do not under estimate the power of self talk! It might sound cinematic or very flowery but it works!

We all have our secrets and stuff we never might want others to know but can we get such thing out of our mind or life? then what is the harm is talking to ourselves and opening up the hairball of complexities.

Well, all I suggest is our happiness for sure is in our hands as long is we are not trying to please everyone, everywhere and every-time. Every day is a perfect day if we can make it!

Have a great day folks!!!

Ignorance is a torture unless otherwise its in pristine form!

I always took it for granted that the everyday quotes like "Ignorance is Bliss" "Knowledge is Divine" etc are absolute truths. But... If given a thought, I kind of feel they are incomplete!

Absolute Ignorance is Bliss - Now that's complete. Lets take a child's mind for a start - Its a clean slate and a child is always in bliss but as he/she grows into adulthood, the impurities of this world barge into the system and that child's mind is no longer pristine to dwell in the blissfulness anymore.Adolescence brings in competition through comparison and contrast. That makes the mind all more restless opening doors of ego and self-consciousness. This is exactly when one feels the need of acknowledgment and appreciation irrespective of one's achievement! And if not solaced by these, that person will long for it more.  - meaning no more bliss and no more absolute ignorance. They know they want something but cant figure out what!!! What a pity! This continues through out a lifetime unless its obstructed by complacency/laziness or success/achievement.

I am in  a point where I am not absolutely ignorant of the world around me and it would be foolish to expect to know everything in one lifetime. Does that mean that humans have to suffer in this partial ignorance all their life? Is this the struggle that life puts us through? whats the point... do we learn anything or do we leave anything? What kind of life are we living? - Happiness - Yes it is there but Bliss aahhh not possible. We feel happy if we eat our fav food or we feel happy when we hear our fav music or alike but when do we feel blissful?

Okaaaay!! thats quite some musing - back to the normal world. I am in a blissful state momentarily when I see good art or hear time stopping music or jaw dropping ballet or anything that will hold still the ever moving time. I wish that I have many such moments which will hold time still - That will be my Bliss.!

what can you give?

Well, I just happen to encounter a good friend of mine who was quite disturbed when he came across a hate group - "**** India" and was responding in his own way to combat and give some comfort to his patriotic instincts.

The cycle of Hatred as I call it cannot be broken by direct encounter! If it could, it would have long been gone. Govt of India, the military, politicians everyone is trying hard to TALK terms over!!! what an irony that after every such attempt there has always been a totally opposite reaction somewhere in the country! Its only after one looses ones mind that they can hate someone beyond a limit I feel. we all dislike stuff. we all dislike people at one or the other time but hold on...... are we really hating the people or their acts and decisions?? question yourself. I feel I only hate or dislike certain acts/words or decisions by people/officials/governments that does not mean I have to hate them for the rest of my life! People/countries are an amalgamation of activities, decisions and attitudes its officials or controlling powers take up. When these controlling authorities are mistaken its them to blame for that one wrong decision (of course that might define the fate of that nation eventually) BUT its only some person's decisions that can be disliked or hated not the nation as a whole or a person entirely!

I think it is rather very naive and un becoming of a person to get into this hate circle and waste time, mind and resources in creating groups to promote hate or to join them in order to refute their argument! both are utter waste. If you feel patriotic and have got your blood boiled if India lost a cricket match or if some hate group was created in some social networking site is that of any use to the country or its people?? even remotely do you think you can influence these screwed up minds? I dont think so... well, if you want to solace your patriotism work towards the benefit of your nation, no effort is small - drop by drop makes an ocean right? so does min by min count. If you have time and intention to work for a better India - open up and do something about it! rather than waste time over with these ridiculous arguments of hatred. 

I feel that if we all Ignore!!that would as well refute the existence of hate.If you encounter such people give love by showing sympathy towards a broken logic for these week minds.

because everyone be it a Pakistani or Iraqi or American or Indian - they are all people and all of them feel pain the same way. Its only sad that they did not get enough love to understand love.

I have a strong belief that we can only give what we have! I have love filled in my heart and hope filled in my mind so I shall give them. If you find people spreading hatred, sympathize that they only have hate to give since may that is the only thing they got in them!!!

Now question yourself - what have you got? love? knowledge? wisdom? peace? logic? coz you only can give what you got!!!

Google Wave! ........

I just happen to learn a little about Google Wave. Wowwww.... Its more like email and chat together and even more. I feel its a great aid for distance education!

http://wave.google.com/about.html#video  - Here is a video which demonstrates what Wave is about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6pgxLaDdQw - Here is another video that will clear up the picture about wave further.

The only disspointment at this point of time is that it is open to limited number of users and everyone cant as of now use wave/ We either have to be invited by a wave user or subscribe to google in order for us to use this feature. Well, I am not very sure how they give access as yet but my request is still pending! so... hope we have someone inside using wave send out invitations. I am so eager to use this one,,, god! If any of my readers have access pleaseeeee send me an invitation :-) Thanks.

Technology Rocks!

Success - Self Obligatory!

"well, success is the sense of accomplishment that one feels after a job well done from within. It has nothing to do with what others judge upon!" ____Sowmya

I felt that peace and sense of accomplishment when ever I gave my best - That was it...

Many a time we think we gave our best but we actually just become complacent by fooling ourselves that we did all we could. lame excuse! If we extend ourselves towards THE BEST we can do, it is only that person who will know if he reached his potential or if he can do better. Also I think there is always room for improvement and it does not mean that if we can improve, the previous performance was not up to the best! People keep changing, time keeps moving forward and situations keep altering themselves every microsecond. Given all circumstances and advancements I think there is always a room for improvement even if one does their best at one particular sec.

On the other hand, we feel good if people around recognize our efforts, thats where judging/grading and peer opinion comes. I would surely like it if my friends and colleagues think I did good job along with just myself. Sometimes this acknowledgement is necessary too like when your boss is not happy with your work and you think you did a fine job... nooo way that the situation will help! So/// I strongly opine that one has to understand and go according to the situation along with being self obligatory*.

* Self Obligatory in sense that no matter whom we have in the situation to please, it should be oneself to be impressed in order for others to appreciate.

All this musings - coz I am waiting for my sem results?? or some other results --- ahhh... whatever. I gave in my best of best for this semester I give myself a 4.0! now its for the world to agree with me or not... (I know I can sometime be extremely un-agreeable and contradictory to popular beliefs!) whatever be it I can gel well with the situation... :-)

President, Graduate Student Association.

Things happen for a purpose and if we don't realize and "praticalize" that purpose it sure will become a pure waste eventually!

Well, here is an opportunity but are there enough resources to get the vision into reality? - calls for a reality check!!! ah...
Sometimes authority and power may not be enough but what is actually enough to get moving? nothing! Everything starts with one step! one grain! one drop! and one person!

I sure will try my best to start and will give my 100% to implement ideas that will aid progress of grad students. Lets hope by trying and doing.
Well, good luck to me and everyone in my team!

Spring Break!

Wowwwww would be an understatement for how I spent my spring break. It was an amazingly twisted and turned roller coaster ride!

Sun to Sun (7th to 14th) was my trip. The first two days was too dreamy to be real! but as always dreams shatter once we wake up so did the excitement but it was fun! :-) God bless - All iZZ well at the end of the show. The third day I was hanging out with my good old friends in a pretty good mall in NJ. I did some shopping which I always enjoyed (of course I was saving for this!) Movies and Food(Coldstone Mint Strawberry mmmmmm cant beat that) the fourth day I was the explorer of NY city! Yayyyyyy I fell in love with the city right away. It felt like I belonged there! but hold.... end of the day I wanted to spend time with family and kids and eat home made food! what was that! NY style not even remotely! but I am a kind of mix so :-) end of the NY day was again a surprise! simplicity is so beautiful! was it simplicity or mystery? that was the question which is left unanswered. But that really dint bother me because I was reminded of one of the Rajnikanth's dialogues !!!:-) (if you know what I am talking about) Reached Stamford safe and sound. Next morning was a people day. I met my family after a long long time. I have never seen my cousin's kids and here I am overwhelmed with joy and love for them. Too bad that I could not take the gifts and chocolates I wanted to give them but hotha hai/.// They sure will get surprises from this Pinni/Atta :-) All of the kids were AMAZING wow... I see the generation gap but they are outstanding. I love them to death. I happen to meet the Mayor of Stamford Mr Pavia for the swearing in of my cousin as the Fire Commissioner for the city of Stamford. That was interesting and inspiring. Politics always got a piece of my mind and here is my first encounter with a person inside. Finally my last two days were so unorganized and hapazard, it was fun because everything was ok at the end of the day. Floods and no power in CT and roads blocked in NY and trains canceled to NJ - too much happening. I had to go directly to EWR to get my flight back. A couple of things that were little disappointing were I couldn't see Hasini and did not have enough time with Sind. Well, that calls for another trip just for friends :-)

Thanks to all my lovely people for the amazing time I had and I promise that I will keep bugging everyone as I get chances to do so :-)